Scarlett's Cry

I hear her little cry in the morning waking me to fed her. Her cry is so gentle and soft, I pull her out of her sleeper and lay her on the bed next to me so I can feed her laying down. I close my eyes and lay there until Derricks alarms are going off. (he sets 4-5 alarms) I change Scarlett when she is done and put her in her car seat to head to Brielles house. Derrick gets ready and we head out the door. I drop Scarlett off at Brielles and head to the gym to meet Derrick. We start are work out and and the whole time in the back of my mind I'm thinking "I hope she stays asleep" "what if she chokes" "what if Brielle doesn't hear her" "should I go get her" "she is fine just fine" "Brielle has been around a million kids stop worrying" all while Derrick is trying to show me how to do these work outs.. I try to focus on what he is telling me, but I stare at the clock every 2 secounds. Wondering how she is doing. Once we are done with the work out, I kiss Derrick goodbye and tell him "to put his seatbelt on and be safe." I head to Brielle's house to pick up Scarlett. I knock on the door and Brielle opens the door holding Scarlett. She lets me know that she seems a little sick and hungry like she can't breathe out of her noise. She also let me know she cried. My heart stops and sinks down as she is telling me. I feel so bad for Brielle that she didn't get back to sleep. I also feel guilt that I wasn't there for Scarlett when she needed me. I took Scarlett out to the car and drove home. I thought the whole way how could I show Brielle how thankful I am for her kindness and everything she does for me. I get home take Scarlett into the house and sit down with her to watch some news. I feed her and change her. After I'm done I think of the list I need to get done. Get Scarlett ready. Get ready. Clean the house. Make lunch for Derrick. Start on dinner. Take pictures of Scarlett.. So on forth. I head up stares to get in the shower. I put Scarlett in her sleeper and bring it into the bathroom. I jump in and peak my head out every 2 secounds to see if she is still breathing. I get out get dressed and start a little bath for Scarlett

When I'm done I get her dressed and put her in her sleeper so I can blow dry my hair. As soon as I lay her down she starts this little cry. She looks so sad I grab her binky and give it to her. She takes it for a secound and begins to cry more and louder. I pick her up and hold her close, I rock her back and forth. But it's not working she just keeps on crying. So I decided that she was probably still hungry. I try feeding her again but she is freaking out. I go grab her medicine and her salt water. I give her, her medicine that seems to sooth her until she realize that she is having a hard time breathing out her noise...and she starts crying again. I grab the salt water and drip some in her noise like the doctor has to told me too. She starts screaming now, her face is bright red and she is not happy. I cradle her trying to make her feel better giving her, her binky. She finally calms down. I lay her in her sleeper and she begins to cry again. I flip on the blow dryer and she stops. I try blow drying my hair as fast as possible before she starts crying again I pick her up and try to sooth her. I rock her back and forth. I even see if she is hungry again, but it just makes her cry more.... Now I'm getting even more sad 

What can I do to make her feel better. I lay her down and swaddle her and hold her close until she stops crying. I hurry and finish my hair before she starts crying again. I'm really at lost now. I have no idea what to do. I pick her up and rock her back and forth and pat her in the back. I finally get her back to sleep after an hour. I laid her down to get some pictures with her but she keep crying. She cried the rest of the day. It was a relief when derrick got home he held her for me while I cooked dinner. 

 I honestly learned so much about my self. I learned that I have a lot more patients then I thought. I would do anything to make my child happy. When she cries I cry too. I learned how hard but amazing it is to be a New mommy.    ❤❤❤